Caught in the crossfire
On war, apathy, and the exhaustion of watching civilians suffer while the powerful remain untouched.
I’ve been living in a haze the last week.
I’m exhausted and I can’t unplug from the internet while it feels like the whole world is on fire.
My country is slipping deeper into authoritarianism by the minute—this weekend alone brought a politically motivated assassination and a military parade for our president’s birthday. Meanwhile, a new conflict is erupting in the Middle East, a region that has always been close to my heart. I’m just depleted.
I’ve never been able to explain why the concept of war haunts me so deeply. Maybe I died in one in another life. I started feeling this enmeshment about ten years ago, when I first began paying attention to the world—and the war in Syria devastated me.
After watching the White Helmets documentary on Netflix, I remember naively wanting to join the people pulling survivors from rubble in real time, right after missile strikes. I watched it in 2016, when they were just five years into the war. For those 40 minutes, I tried to imagine what it would be like if that were my everyday reality.
I discovered a song in 2018 or 2019 called Crossfire by Stephen. It’s a social commentary on the suffering in conflict zones and the apathy that so often surrounds it.
I cried every time I heard this song for years.
When I remember to put it on, I always play it on repeat at least 20 minutes as I allow myself to imagine the pain of living through war, of being part of the fabric of society that falls through the cracks—the collateral damage of someone else’s power game.
Imagine being one of the ones whose pain causes others so much discomfort that they just look away, as if you didn’t exist.
The lyrics and sounds in the music video depict the daily trauma in war zones, which draws parallels between the global refugee crisis and systemic injustice.
The song critiques society’s tendency to look away from suffering. The music video shows homelessness, police brutality, racism, and people being “caught in the crossfire” of apathy.
The primary message of Crossfire is that the people, on either side of any conflict, are the victims of larger powers.
I encourage you to listen, not only to the lyrics of this song, but to the suffering of people globally. Don’t pretend it’s not happening because it’s not happening to you. United we have the ability to speak truth to power, to stand up for those who can’t defend themselves, and to change the course of history.
We all have our own ways of helping. Art is more powerful than we think in times like this. Art moves people. Art inspires change.
Some make music. Some write. Some photograph. Some paint. Some use fashion.
Some run for office. Some have hard conversations in places that matter. Some volunteer. Some protest loudly. Some protest silently. Some boycott the corporations funding the wrong side.
I tend to write about what I’m going through and this is the only thing on my mind lately, so thank you for reading. I know it is a little heavier than usual.
Love always,
Nola
p.s. a bit of an angry snippet from my notes app.
Fuck the Israeli and Iranian governments. Not the people. The governments.
My heart breaks for every innocent person being used as collateral while leaders sit safely behind desks, watching missiles strike civilians.
To those saying Israel “deserves” to be bombed because of what’s happened in Gaza, that logic mirrors the same cruelty we’re trying to condemn. The people of a country are not the ones making those decisions and I doubt most civilians happily praised the genocide in Gaza. Innocent families in Israel, Iran, and Palestine are paying the price for their governments’ violence.
Israel’s government launched an unprovoked attack on one of the world’s most brutal regimes and ignited a new war.
Iran is an oppressive theocracy and poses a very real threat. It has spent years brutally repressing its own people with endless violations to basic human rights. And once again, it is everyday Iranians who will continue to suffer the consequences.
Governments start wars and they sacrifice their own people and I’m tired of seeing innocent lives pay the price for decisions made by leaders who never face the consequences themselves.